Heroin Epidemic in the Heartland: Narcan Available

I've posted in the past before my loathe for this drug. The main reason why I chose the path of being in Pharmacy was to understand every component I could on the process of how drugs are made, their purpose and to use that knowledge to help educate others on their benefits and primarily their danger. Doctors have medications to push. They don't have time to go over the therapeutic benefits and the side effects. Hell even pharmacists in retail especially don't even have the time because they have sooooooo many orders to fill, they don't even do individual consults unless YOU the patient asks. The knowledge is there, you just need to ask for it and not everyone does it. 

So a few weeks ago, the show 60 Minutes did a coverage of the devastating outbreak of the poison of Heroin. If you missed it, follow this link for the video: Heroin in the Heartland...... It hit home....literally. Right here in Ohio and in the suburbs and places I have been and even lived. I moved to another city this year but was in Pickerington, Ohio where they had a team of parents from that area that I know....and knew their lost ones. We do live in a world unfortunately that we all know someone that has used it, still using it, over-dosed on it, went to jail for it, and has died from it. 

The prime candidate's that are exposed to Heroin are ones that are prescribed pain medication. The feeling of opiates in your system not only helps your pain (The reason you are on the medication in the first place), but also about after 3 doses....yes THREE doses, your brain expects that feeling. That chemical reaction occurring in the brain that begins what develops dependency....aka addiction. There is a safe practice to slowly reverse that process but the physicians don't educate, the pharmacists that is filling your order doesn't either.

Now that Heroin is now an epidemic there is another medication that is now available OTC (over-the-counter). No script needed. Narcan (Naloxone) is the medication. It has the ability to reverse the effect of opioids in your system....INSTANTLY. This is now the go to for Emergency rooms, EMS, and police officers to have on hand. Now its available to the public to have. This is a good and bad thing all at the same time. Now that is readily available....those that are living with the addiction to opiates will just use that when they want that instant high that is too much but they have that as back up. Its not helping the problem. It is just a very, very, very small safety net that is guaranteed to work. If you are at a toxic state and tripling the normal dose won't even help.
So another situation. A huge epidemic. Another pathway for families to live through hell. Medicine is supposed to heal and help and cure......not create addicts and ghosts................


What are your thoughts? 

Honor thy Father

I know a lot of people that planned their lives out to the "T": Even down to when to have a child. Whether you planned it or gifted to be a parent, you can't plan how it will completely change your whole perception on planning. Hell, it changes everything. The day your own child is born your heart immediately triples in size. Your emotions, your planning, or whatever will all be either overwhelmed or completely off balanced. The things we do share are that second they are born, You are a Mother. You are a Father. You are no longer just you.

Today is Father's day. Besides from Mother's day, it is a day of celebration but maybe not the way you might have been perceiving it this whole time. This is day of honoring those that not only were gifted with their titles, but earned them. Staying up at all hours of the night changing diapers, or sitting by the phone waiting on your teenager to check in so you know they are okay. Those moments where you look at your own parents and finally have that instant click of understanding what you may have put your own parents through while growing up.

I personally remember growing up and thinking that my parents were so strict on me. I felt like I was always in a sheltered bubble and didn't know why. As a parent now and being an adult, I finally get it. Love is shown in so many forms. We are blinded when we think that as a kid we are being controlled but in reality it is just love. I guess what I mean by that is when we all become parents, we officially are responsible for them for the rest of their lives. We brought them into the world and it is our duty to be the best we can even if we may screw things up from time to time. We carry out actions all based maybe on fear but it comes from our hearts which means love. We protect because of love.

My father is truly an amazing, patient man. Especially for putting up with me. He had things easy with my sister. I was the challenging one and possibly well not possibly...I am still the challenging one. His guidance still leads me through my life even though I'm a parent myself. As you all may know now, I just lost my mother so now he is all I have left. Even though I may not have asked him to be there for me, he was and still is. Still checking on me and my sister. Still being our father and looking at us as his babies. Protecting us as much as he can and trying to help heal our pain. So today, the whole day, I get to honor him. I get to have another day to remind him how much he has made me a better person, a better parent because he was always there whenever I needed him. Thank you will never be enough for as many times he has helped me through the good and the bad of my life.

Today I also get to honor my husband. We were gifted with five amazing kids. I still remember after having our first daughter, I was scared of her. He taught me everything I knew on how to be a mother. He reassured me everyday that I wasn't screwing up and I was doing everything right. He taught me to change a diaper, to even give her a bath. He taught me that I was okay to be scared but also to be proud. He shaped me into the mother I am. We both of course parent our kids together but he is the glue to our family. He helps mold us into place. Without him, we would all be lost. My husband cooks and cleans and does laundry. How many wives can say that? Ha Ha!  I am definitely lucky and so is my kids.

Father's sometimes feel just like mother's do too that they are sometime not good enough. Today is the day to remind them of all the wonderful things that they have done to show them that not only are they good enough, they are more than enough. We all have thoughts that "I should have done this instead" or "I just totally messed up my kid"......we are not perfect. We are human. If we love whole hearted then we did good. It is just sometimes, we need to remind each other of that. That is what Mother's day and Father's Day is about. Reminding them of their importance in our lives. Their influences that made us better people. Not a day about showering someone with a crap ton of gifts and call it a day. Don't get me wrong though about presents because they are awesome to get but just because its a day that recognizes Mother's or Father's doesn't mean that is the definition.

So instead of investing your energy on which golf balls to pick out, invest in your heart and memories that you have. Remind your father today whether they are with us now or not on their importance in your life. How did your father shape you into the person you are today? Even though Thank Yous will never be enough.....reminding them they are appreciated for everything they do if you don't do it on a regular basis then today is your day.

Vick D. West...a week later

One week ago, or should I say last Thursday, my mother was just in my house. Sitting at my kitchen table with me and my kiddos. We were eating pizza, celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday. We wrapped up the evening singing songs and had lots of laughs.

My mother was such an amazing grandmother. I am thankful that they have that memory of her. That was the last time they hugged and kissed her. Just last week.

Here I am my mother's daughter and I can't even hold it together in the way my kids are. They maybe young, but they know grandma is an Angel now. To see my baby girl wrap herself on my mother laying in the casket crying out her heart and professing her love was the bravest thing I have ever seen a 7 year old little girl do. Everyday since my mother's unexpected death, she hasn't stopped playing with the dollhouse my mother brought to her that last night we saw her.

For my mother's memorial, I did speak a little. I couldn't get out everything I had written. I made sure I wore the leopard scarf she made me. When everyone else left, I was able to have a moment alone with her. I know she isn't in pain anymore and she is in a good place but I couldn't leave her. I braided her hair. I prayed and prayed. But my mommy is gone.

The Fraternal Order of Eagles Club my mom and I were apart of provided such an amazing gathering afterwards. They were my mother's second family. The lady's auxiliary are my mother's sisters. Such amazing people. My sister and I will be eternally grateful for all of what they have done.

I'm not going to lie, this week has felt like a month long. It is never ending. Even with my mom gone, there is still a walk of hell my sister and I have to go through.

I wanted to end with one last thing. If it didn't tear me up so much last night, I would have wrote this sooner. Saying goodnight to all my kiddos with lots of hugs and extra kisses just like my husband and I do every night. When it was Zoey's turn, she came and sat next to me and just said this: " Your mom said she is very proud of you and she loves you ever so much". For those of you that don't know, Zoey of course is my daughter, but she also has classical autism. Her communication skills are not anywhere close to where they should be....but she is make tremendous progress. When she said those things and a couple other things that I'm not going to post: It was clear and calm. I don't even think a cricket chirped. I told Zoey to tell me when grandma said anything else and Zoey said of course and kissed me and went to bed.

I'm grateful to all you wonderful friends and family for your support and love and help. I have my memories, just like you have yours. Memories are such an incredible gift to have.

My mom

My mother....My amazing mother is gone. I don't even know if it really has sunk in or not. I just saw her on Thursday. She came over because it was my youngest daughters Birthday the following day. We ate pizza and talked and sang songs. Now all I have left to hear are the three voicemails from her I hadn't deleted yet.....pictures to see her by. Just like that. She left us this morning. Some time between 4-6 am...... I didn't hear the first time my phone went off when her husband was calling. But I answered an hour late. He said it. He said she was gone and went in her sleep in her bed. Just like that. I'm still crumbling inside thinking of that moment. That didn't just happen. But it did. My sister currently lives in Tennessee and they are an hour behind. My sister apparently had her phone on vibrate. I luckily after an hour of calling over and over got her husband awake to wake her. Then I had to tell her. It was the first time I said she was dead. She was gone. Out loud........

I am very grateful for my friends and family that have reached out. I just don't know what to say or do. Hell I went to the funeral home thinking that was what I was supposed to do but they were closed. Had to call the Director of the place to be guided on what I was even to do or what my next steps are. Still not really much clearer then what I knew prior to making that call. I still don't know how to act or handle these spastic and uncontrollable emotions. 

My kids are doing okay, but yet again they are still pretty young to fully understand. Except my oldest. I can't really even tell how she is doing because I can't even figure out how I am even doing. I guess that is why I am writing. Then again I don't even know if I am making any sense to even been understood. 

This isn't supposed to happen yet. My mom has had chron's disease since I was born in 1981. It's been a long battle to deal with but she was dealing with it. She also had sleep apnea but apparently she wasn't using her machine last night? I don't know what happened. All I know is God took her because it was time even though I don't want it to be. The person I talked to about everything and helped guide me through my life isn't here to guide me. 

Tomorrow morning my sis and I and my mother's husband will sit with the Funeral Director. I guess I will know more when that happens. I just want to see her. I don't know what my reaction would be but I want to. If I would have moved a little quicker with my reaction this morning and went straight to the house I could have saw her then. I couldn't move though. They will let me see her right? I don't know how this works. 

Well....I don't know what else to write. I just miss my mom. I want her back and accepting the fact that she is gone well is not acceptable. 

I can't do this.......

#FML....um no. Live your Life

Are you ever guaranteed your dreams? No. but you can try. You need to dream to live. Whether you realize it or not, your mind and soul are on a mission by the choices that you make. Now when you learn from your mistakes and achievements is when it is possible to achieve those dreams of yours.

You have to try. If you never try at love, you won't ever know its feeling. The greatness of love. You can't forget the greatness of pain either. They come with love. The yin and the yang...aka the good and the bad. It comes with everything. Even in your dreams. Successes will always have their downfalls, and lost battles will create a drive for success.

When you have a disapproval of one person, it could be your driver to be the best you can be all because of a feeling. That feeling of letting that one person know that you ARE cable of being the best of your goals and not the disappointment that they may look at you as with one or two failures.

#FML....your opening the door whether you like it or not to have more than one person look at you with less respect and/or disapproval of what you are doing.  I'm told all the time by family and friends to watch what I say in any circumstance including social media. I know they already know by now, they say one thing and I will automatically do another or what I was told not to do in the first place. I admit it. Everyone has seen it or felt it. I'm not hiding it. I'm not denying it. Don't jump.....as I jump repeatedly just to see your reaction. It motivates me. Now is each motivation a positive one? Nope. I live and learn just like the rest of you. Sometimes I think the people that know me best try to put me in entrapment. They have come very close to shutting me down. I still find my way. My dreams are still there and growing and becoming brighter. My motivation for achievement may be for just the feeling of proving someone wrong but at the same time to feel that accomplishment that I can say, "I did it!".

I don't need people to believe in me but I will admit it does help with some situations. Especially when it comes to my goals in my career. Its so frustrating when I see myself being someone great, and then have people second and third my thought and then there is one person that is my wall. A wall created because they think they know me but never took the chance to really know who I was and their influence level is a big fucking wall that I can't even chisel through. Enter the hashtag #FML. But that would be silly. Is my life really horrible? Nope. I have a hurdle and the incapacity to jump it for the moment. I'm not giving up. It drives me nuts seeing this hash tag aka reference all over the social sites. When you use it....I think it should be only when you are incapable of jumping the hurdle. Just because you can't figure your way yet doesn't mean you won't so don't act like you can't.

When working in hospitals, I had to make myself visually reset after a bad moment or day. Its a quick fix to walk in a SICU or MICU to see and hear the stories of how people are in those positions. Waiting on a liver and have two days to live...was walking down the street to work and was hit by a random car and now have no legs......burned over 75% of their body because their husband didn't like what she made for dinner and that child that took a doctor prescribed antibiotic for an infection and turned out to be allergic to penicillin and every layer of their skin is falling off their body. That's where the #FML should be. Not on a day because you didn't get your way or you got a speeding ticket.

You may think you have it bad, but I bet you everything that someone is having it way worse. I'm not saying don't be negative. Be true to your emotions. If you feel something........ let it out. Just watch your hash tags and I won't be so judgemental. Yes...I'm judgemental. Just like you are and everyone else. A good Catholic girl would advise judgment is only allowed by the Almighty God. But I'm not going to sin and lie and say I won't question you when I know for a fact when I give a reason to be judged.....I will be.

So the message of all this? Go for what you want. Use whatever you may need to get there. Criticism for drive, pissing someone off for motivation......letting someone down because you understand the power you have over them..... I can go on. You make your life what it is based on what you want not what others see for you. Just don't drown yourself with a wall of #FML when you have the power to blast through that wall. Use your head, your heart, your pain, your love, your drive. You will find your way through. Don't be that statistic that I judge and everyone else will too.